Getting Past the Disappointment
by Muggle Jane
Summary: Luna's used to seeing disappointment when people see that it's her, but then there's one time it hurts. Oneshot, written for Clara for GGE2014


**A/N: I don't own any of the characters or canon situations. Written for Clara for the GGE2014**

His declaration had somewhat surprised her. It had been announced as he limped past as fast as he could move, a silver sword in his hand, and followed up by a firm kiss that threatened to make her head float up to- well, the ceiling hadn't been there anymore.

And then he was gone, moving on to further heroic things. She hadn't really seen him since then. When the battle had concluded and everyone was sitting in the Great Hall wrapped in a heavy mixture of triumph and sorrow, there hadn't been much of a chance to speak with him then, either. He was with a stern-looking, white-haired witch who could only be his grandmother, and Luna moved about the room, healing everyone she could get near.

That night had been spent in one of Ron's brother's old rooms at the Burrow; despite having been a neighbour for her entire life, she hadn't really spent much time there. Excluding, of course, the dreadful wedding where she'd found out that being bitten by a gnome isn't actually lucky at all.

Hermione had told her that Neville had decided to join the Aurors along with Ron and Harry, and now the three of them were apparently living in Harry's house in London. She'd been there only once before, a little over three years ago, but she still remembered where it was. She wanted to go there, right now.

It was Bill and Charlie's old room that she was still staying in, way up at the top of the house. She didn't mind, it was easier to see the stars from up there, and it reminded her of her own room in the house that the Death Eaters had destroyed. She came out of the room and went down all of those long stairs to where Mrs Weasley was moving about the kitchen.

The haunted look from losing her son still hadn't left Mrs Weasley's face, and Luna walked over and took her hand from where it was resting on the table as the older witch was staring unfocused out the window, lost in thought.

"I'm going out to London," she said gently as Mrs Weasley turned to her with a start. Luna knew that the disappointment in Mrs Weasley's face wasn't at seeing her, rather it was that she wasn't seeing Fred. "Would you like me to take something over for you?"

Mrs Weasley looked at her for a moment, her mind pulling itself out of its grief long enough to focus on the question. "If you would, dear, I've got a box of things for the boys and I haven't been able to make it over just yet."

"Where is it?"

With a gentle squeeze to her hand, Mrs Weasley pulled away and went to the small pantry that was just off the kitchen. She came back in a moment with a rather full-looking box, levitating it just in front of her until it settled itself rather heavily on the table. "There's a lot in there, can you manage?"

"Oh, yes," Luna replied. She took out her own wand and lifted the box into the air, letting it precede her out of the kitchen door that Mrs Weasley opened and across the garden that was beginning to die out for the summer.

In just a moment, she was standing on the front stoop to 12 Grimmauld Place. As far as she knew, it was still enchanted as a secret, but then, she knew the secret. She'd always been particularly good at keeping secrets, her time in the cellar of Malfoy Manor had proved that.

She lifted one hand and knocked gently against the door. There was a yell from within and then the stampede of feet as someone descended the staircase, and then the door was open.

Harry was looking down at her through his round glasses, and he looked a little disappointed to see her as well.

"I'm sorry I'm not Ginny, but I brought a box of things from Mrs Weasley. May I please come in?"

He looked a little guilty now, green eyes showing regret. "Of course. Sorry, Luna..."

"It's fine. Sometimes I wish I was the person people were looking for, but no matter how hard I try, I only seem to be me." She floated the box through the house after him, down the narrow hall and short stair into the kitchen, where she directed it onto the long table. "How are you sleeping?"

He looked at her and opened his mouth to answer, but when she widened her eyes and put her head slightly to the side to peer at him, he seemed to reconsider what he'd been about to say. "Not well," he admitted, looking at her for a moment before turning his attention down to a long scratch in the old table. "I thought it'd be easier, but..."

With the box settled down, she was free to move over to him and pat his arm. "That's because you're a good person, Harry. It's hard for good people to kill others, no matter the circumstances. Don't worry, Ginny will be along this afternoon."

She offered him a comforting smile and moved from the room, hearing him begin to sort through the trays of food and boxes of biscuits Mrs Weasley had stuffed the box with.

She passed Ron on the way, who stopped to look down at her, the familiar look of disappointment on his face. "Sorry I'm not Hermione. She's at the school right now, she'll be over this evening, I think."

He looked similarly guilty. "How are you?"

"Quite well, thank you. Your mum sent over a box of things, Harry's got it in the kitchen."

With one last sheepish look, he moved past her, going down the same stairs she'd just come up.

She kept going on her trek, finding Neville in the library. He looked up as she shut the door behind her, and this time it hurt a little when she saw the disappointment in his eyes. "Sorry, Neville, it's only me. I'd hoped that you would be the one person who wasn't disappointed that I am me, but it seems that's not to be the case." She looked down at where he was sitting, a book open on the desk in front of him and a pot full of leafy plant beside it. "Perhaps I'll go and visit the thestrals. They're never quite so disappointed that I'm just me."

Her voice was free of bitterness or accusation, but a deep flush spread across Neville's neck and rose up to stain his face. She was just turning to leave again when she heard the scrape of the chair's legs across the floor and a muffled thump as though Neville had bumped into the table. "No, stay," he rushed to say as her hand settled on the doorknob. "Sorry, Luna, it's just that I'm expecting a letter, and Harry said he'd bring it in when the mail came."

He was moving across the library towards her when she turned back, tilting her head back to look up at him as he stopped just in front of her. His eyes searched hers, the brown depths swirling with guilt and hope. "It's good to see you."

"I hope so," she answered quite sincerely. "It's been about a month since you kissed me, and I was wondering if you were intending to do it again." She stared up at him unabashed, taking in the way his cheeks turned a sort of ruddy colour, as though that question hadn't been entirely expected.

"I- I just-" He stared at her, mouth opening and closing as though he was searching for something to say.

"I quite liked it, though I'm not entirely sure if that was just the adrenaline from what was going on at the time. I don't think so." She looked up, eyes wide and guileless. "May I?"

He didn't quite seem to understand what she was asking, or he didn't believe it, staring down at her as though his mind had completely stopped working. So she slipped her hands up over the blue-striped shirt he was wearing around to the back of his neck and rose up on her toes, gently pulling his head down at the same time to meet his lips with hers. The kiss was softer than it had been the last time, but no less lovely, and time stretched on as he lifted one hand to first rest on her waist, then slide around to the small of her back, holding her close.

She was smiling as she settled back down onto her heels. "That was quite lovely. If you're interested in doing that again, I'm still staying with Mr and Mrs Weasley." She slipped away from him, turning to find the doorknob once again.

And once again she was stopped, though in rather a more physical way this time. Neville had caught her hand and was pulling her to him, his other arm coming around her as he bent his head down to kiss her again.

This kiss was decidedly not gentle, not in the way his mouth moved over his, nor in the way his arms closed around her, holding her against him.

A bump on the back of Luna's head interrupted them with a jolt, and she pulled away, rubbing a hand over the blond hair at the back of her head.

Harry's green eyes looked guilty again as he peered through the door that he'd only partially opened. "Sorry, Luna, I didn't expect you to be right in the door."

"It's all right," she returned, turning around to look at him, one arm still across Neville's back.

Harry was holding out a yellowish rectangle- obviously the letter Neville had been waiting for. "Thanks," Neville said, taking the letter and tucking it into his back pocket.

With another look between them and another muttered apology, Harry closed the door again.

Luna peered behind Neville to where the top half of the envelope was sticking out of his jeans pocket. "Aren't you going to open it? That's the letter you were expecting, isn't it?"

"It's not going anywhere." He drew her further into the room, away from the door, and pulled her to him again.


End file.
